dirtyandtrue | PSL - In sickness and in Death

It was hours before Matthew and Joslin returned to the house with a distinct lack of corpses, and when Matt walked in, he was only in his boxers. There was a empty glaze to his one very dilated eye and his step was slightly unsteady as he made his way up the stairs and into his bedroom. He felt scraped on the inside, torn raw and spritzed with salt water but full and blissfully high. The bitter weeping that had over taken the vampire as they had left the house before had left him nauseous and famished all at the same time. Crying meant spending blood and he'd been sadly low before hand.

The words that Blaine had snarled at him at the hospital, the anguished sound of his name before and the final soft cry of a however temporarily broken man echoed in his head, a mantra of guilt to a logical reassurance. It overrode the euphoria, but riding this kind of self deprecating high was something he'd done for 70 years after he was embraced. It was an old friend and some part of his soul was nostalgic.

But history really did repeat itself because an hour later, Lucchi was rapping on Matt's door and letting himself in. Being German and knowing full well how fluent Matt was in it, the elder vampire took to his native tongue as he shut the door behind himself. "Louis. Where have you gotten off too?"

"Here," he called from the balcony and Lucchi padded to the open french doors, hands stuffed into his pocket. Matt had found pants, but sat shirtless and barefoot on the just wide enough railing with a bottle in between his legs and a cigarette in his hanging fingers. One elbow was propped up on his knee and he didn't bother to even look to see who it was.

"I should throw you into the dawn."

A long handful of seconds passed. "Fuck you Luch." It lacked bite and edge; Matthew was numb and blank at the moment. Just absorbing, instead of reacting.

Lucchi dragged one of the chairs over and plopped down, crossing his ankles up on the banister. "It has been over half a century since we've spoken and that's your lead?"

"What do you want me to say?" He took a long drag and Lucchi knew him well enough to know that he would talk again because Matt was always weak to the level no bullshit stare that was boring into the side of his head. "I broke him, Lucchi. I killed and damned him and saved him and broke him and all in one glorious blaze of fire.... I can't find it in myself to be as sorry as I should be."

Lucchi studied his wards face carefully. "You feel too much."

"Oh fuck off," Matt swore, dropping his legs out to saddle the stone. "I tried, swear to god I did. The thought of losing him was-"

"Was too much," Lucchi interrupted with an impatient tone. "Yes, I know. And now you're feeling sorry for yourself."

"No," Matt corrected. "I'm not."

Lucchi scoffed out a laugh, turning his head away from the bullshit answer. "Christ, Louie, who do you think you're talking to? Do you remember what you did after each time you had a love taken from you? Seventy years you spent sulking like the donkey's ass you are. And to what? Have a break down in London that was remembered for centuries as one of the most violent random acts with a body count over 30? That's what got you shipped over to me. Disregard your guilt, you should be above sulking at your age."

Matt pinned him with a hard but unsteady gaze. "I've done a lot, but never had my own heart murdered." Lucchi raised his eyebrows, "And will you be blaming me for granting your request? Because I have no issue going into that boy's room and tearing his head from his shoulders. Then you have had him murdered and for nothing at all. Your little game of house is over Louie."

"It wasn't house," he snapped at the man, angry at the suggestion that this was anything close to a game.

"No? Tell me, why'd you bother? Why risk it? You're not a stupid man. It would have hurt you to watch him die, but time passes. And just like the other two, he would ease and fade into nothing. But now you risk him hating you and leaving. What will you do then, hmm? How much of your feelings with validate chasing him down and binding him to you so you can have your sick hope of happiness? You know how this could end and I will not hear you simpering about it in a few centuries."

Matt could say nothing and he stared at the rock beneath him. Would he go that far? Would the degradation of his humanity that had been so bolstered by Blaine and the life that he brought with him start to fade and send Matthew into the doors of the Elder Kindred's madness? He'd made a mistake that he wasn't sorry for but he was endlessly guilt for.

"What should I do?" He sounded younger in the moment, with a desperation behind the words that hinted at just how deeply this night had rocked him.

Lucchi sighed and shifted his feet. "Let him come back to you but do not let him position himself above you. You must maintain your strength. What's done is done, so clean up the mess you've put yourself in and get back to your duties. He was right to reprimand you - he makes you a fool and as a Prince, you are better then your whining tonight." Matt tsk'ed and looked over the balcony edge, but he took his mentors words to heart. A long silence hung between the two as Matt re-lit his cigarette and took a couple of lazy hits.

"Thank you for doing this."

"Like I said. You will owe me." The elder Brujah stood up while his reminder settled into Matt's head. Owing a favor to Lucchi was never a good or promising thing - the man was barbaric, even to the rest of their Clan which had made him perfect for beating Matthew's young fledgling heartache and rage under control. "Tomorrow night, I will fly back to Germany. The next time I see the both of you, I expect him prepared and ready to be presenting, like the old codes say."

Matt nodded mutely and Lucchi nodded back before turning away and starting back into the house. Matt looked back out into the sky that was just starting to threaten the darkness with light and knew he had maybe twenty minutes before the sun would peak it's first rays over the horizon. Long enough to finish his cigarette, anyway.

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Blaine cared more about the total completion of meals much more then they did. It wasn't that they were lazy, nor did they wanted him to wait on them, but the blond tended to beat them to the punch to the smaller meal oriented details.

Lucchi did indeed want Blaine off on his own, something he conveyed with a nod and another stolen bite of melon before he was padding out of the kitchen, expecting Blaine to be in tow. Joslin and Maurice exchanged glances and looked at Blaine, curious about what the men would talk about and smart enough to not ask. The eldest vampire lead them across the foyer and into the parlor, where he dropped his mass carefully into a chair. He let Blaine get in the room and take a moment to get comfortable before starting.

"I'm sure you feel it," The connection that they would share now, due to the continuation of Lucchi's line - a buzzing awareness that let him know that Blaine was near, "And in the end, you are my responsibility. I know the situation of your Embrace is... a tender point but I'd advise you to keep your head about you. Regardless of Louis's ability to govern, his history is with fledglings that are a little less... fresh and if I have to come back to clean up this mess, I will take a swath out of everyone's hide involved. You have been with him a while, right? You're familiar with the base rules of how we are to operate? Breaking rules is all well and good, but break these, and you'll light the fires and burn your entire world."

Blaine followed, also curious about what the larger vampire wanted to tell him. He gave a small shrug at the other two as they left the room to somewhere more private. He settled against the side of a small couch but didn't sit. Many years of training made standing a habit and it would take more than being turned to change it.

Yes, he felt Lucchi's presence in a way that was vaguely uncomfortable. It was a buzzing at the edge of his senses but not something that could really be ignored by him. At mentioning his Embrace as a 'tender point' gave the man A Look that conveyed just how grossly underplayed that word was to him. There were worse ways to be Embraced, but unlike when he became a Ghoul, his fundamental nature had changed and he could not go on living the same.

"Feel free to preemptively light a fire or throw me out into the sun," Blaine said dryly, but it wasn't at all a joke. "Then you won't have to worry about coming back, except to get whatever it is from 'Louis' that he promised you to get you to come all this way."

"I've got an open ended ticket on his ass and yours. There will be no suicide - fuckin' disgraceful. You were dead either way. Tuck away your fears, little man; there is no Heaven and there is no Hell. This, or blackness is all you got." He did not have time to tiptoe around this.

"He is a Prince. Court will deal with him harshly if he doesn't keep you in line, so don't fuck this up too much. Hate him, kill him in his sleep, I don't care, but don't sulk."

For some reason, Blaine was starting to find the whole thing funny. Him? Disgraceful? He had made his peace and was prepared to die with dignity. Now he got to flail around like a tadpole in a giant pond of hungry fish with fangs. "I wasn't afraid of true death. I had months to get over it. It was Matthew who feared it and this is where I am because of that."

He stared at Lucchi and didn't even bother to comment on the ludicrousy of saying he was sulking. Let the Matthew deal with the court. Blaine was going to do what was best for himself, now that he was forced to live an extended life.

Lucchi shrugged. "Take it as you like. He didn't fear your dying. He fears what he will do in its wake. You fell in love with an addict, what did you expect?"

That was certainly true. Matthew was an addict of the highest order, but that was a shitty excuse for what he had done and his face showed it. "I expected him to act like a damn Prince."

Which was partially a lie. He was hoping he would.

"Is that imply love is an addiction or have I been watching too many of those cheesy romcoms?"

"But he's not. He never was. He never will be," Lucchi chortled out with a breath. "He will always be that stubborn headstrong Lord's son, used to getting what he wants and taking most whatever punishment that effort entails.

My opinion on love aside, it doesn't matter what it is to anyone else, since that's not who we're talking about. For him, maybe. Happiness can be addicting." Lucchi shrugged again as he pushed back to his feet.

"Just like that fire hot rage." The one that burned most brightly under resentment and considering their clan, it felt like it needed to be pointed out.

Blaine let out an aggrieved sigh at the accurate description of Matthew: spoiled little rich kid. Even if he'd had to buckle down and study under a domineering father, he still got what he wanted and fuck everyone else if they didn't like it. Including Blaine.

At the mention of rage, the blonde's rage, said fledgling vampire looked up and stared at Lucchi with half lidded eyes and said nothing. He had every right to let his anger simmer for as long as he liked. As long as Lucchi didn't have to come back and beat the shit out of him and Matthew, it would be fine.

It was the truth. Matt was a born and bred asshole and he was the worst kind. He was nice about it.. Sometimes. Lucchi shrugged again and headed towards the door. Blaine had full and total rights to be pissed, Lucchi was just passing out a warning. Towards the open arch turned into through the arch and up the stairs to finish getting dressed so he could leave.

From the kitchen, Maurice and Joslin peered from their spots, curiously.

PSL - In sickness and in Death

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