dirtyandtrue | IC INBOX

It was easier to trust him, probably because if he hurt her... Airy would feel like she deserved it. She knew that running away that night had left Matt in an awful place but she'd never forget the way her bloody footprints had looked as she ran down the hall towards the baths. She wasn't sure how the fairies had cleaned it up so fast but every attempt she had made to talk to Matt had night had ended before she worked up the courage to leave her room again.

What could she ever do to help him? She couldn't offer him blood... while everyone else in the world could. There was something wrong with her and she couldn't give him what he needed or wanted.

She looked down at her feet but didn't pull away from him. Airy cared too much about Matt to pull away like that again. "Daydreams count." Sometimes that was all she had; pleasant and unreal daydreams of things that she knew could never be.

"Why can't you? I know it's hard and its fleeting and hell, shit between Cassidy and I might not work out but what if you could have it? Just for a little while." She looked up at him then and felt her heart pulse quicken as her eyes met his.

"You can have it too."

Blood was not the only thing a soul survived on, but that wasn't something Matthew expected anyone to understand. It was part of being a vampire - you got bored, you got lonely, you got tired of watching people you care for get old and die. Blood was only a necessary aside.

The downglance had Matthew dropping his hand slowly back to his side, fingers itching for a cigarette to roll and play with; a distraction.

"What if's only serve to haunt me. Affection isn't something that I can buy out of the stores." His eyes were sad, dark, and ancient as they met her gaze. "Either it happens or it doesn't, and when it does, I am the man to ruin sweetness. Would that I could have it, just to ruin it in the end.." But that didn't change the reality of what was. People knew about him. Women knew about him - he couldn't stay in his own bed, much less stay in someone else's consistently.

"I am not the relationship kind. I am the one night stand, 'I'm making bad life decisions' kind. Everyone needs someone to fill that role, right?" Even Airy.

"You have affection." As Airy spoke she wrapped her arms around Matthew's waist, pulling herself tightly against him. "Cassidy and I love you. It might be different from anything normal and it's something else that's riddled with complications and will probably explode at some point in the future but we do. I know he does too."

It was different and weird. Airy wouldn't have believed that she'd get herself in this situation a year ago but here she was.

"I understand what you're like. That you like being a fleeting memory but Cassi and I won't get old and die like others do. The worlds might separate us but we'll always find a way to see each other again." She looked up at Matt as she continued. "Let us love you. For who you are. Even if you ruin things. We'll love that too."

Her heart ached when she thought of Matthew feeling like he had to be alone.

"And you can still be everyone's sexy bad life choice."

Affection was different from lust and while Matthew believed that Airy loved him, he knew Cassidy didn't feel as deeply about it. They were friends and connected by Airy, but even their brief roll in the Wilds had proved to be a one time thing, a product of lust.

What Matthew felt was hardly important; he had a dim view of the future, generally. He didn't deserve what they had, he couldn't ever control his impulses or change what he was for anyone or anything. He'd tried. He'd failed.

Still, it only took a few seconds of Airy's sincere squeezing to break down his cool resolve and return his arms around her slender frame. With her so close, his eyes had no other refugee than her gaze. Her last line makes him chuckle, one hand coming up her back to urge her head down against his chest so that he could hug her and bury his face into her hair.

"Mm." He couldn't say no. He couldn't say yes either, he wanted to embrace it blindly, so much that his chest felt like it was going to fold into itself. "Cassi, huh?" His grip on her loosened, but his hands stayed flat on her back. "How long do you think you'll live?"

"Yeah. I don't know why I called him that." She closed her eyes and pressed her face against his shoulder. "And... I'm not sure." Airy held him firmly against her, taking comfort in the solid form of Matt's frame. Maybe she was being overly naive by extending such an offer to Matt but she truly believed that it could happen.

Whatever his relationship with Cassidy. Airy knew that Matt was important to both of them. They had both mentioned it, even if it had been in passing.

"The last Creator killed herself and I don't know how many there were before that but I know my powers work on me more than they do on anyone else. I have changed things about myself, usually by accident. Recently I've tried to do it on purpose." It was scary but Airy could now confidently make herself wings.

"I almost made myself disappear once." It had been terrifying. "Like I never existed. It would have rewritten everything. But I think it's like that. If I believe it, more so with things to do with me, it'll stay that way. So as long as there are things to live for, I'll be alive."

It was all fantastic guess work on her part but it felt right.

"It's cute," he assured with a sweet, rough hum of approval, words muttered into her hair. She almost smelled like strawberries, though Matthew was sure it was just his imagination.

He knew the last creator killed herself; it was part of the concern he had about his effect on Airy but her going over it gave him a thought and a spark of hope.

"It would have been a terrible re-write.. Does this mean you could, theoretically will an addiction out of your system?" Getting high and falling into the nearest thing that counted for a bed with her was the second best idea, since the first was out of the question.

"Heh, thanks." Airy's smile widened as she leaned a little more of her weight onto Matt's shoulder. He was comfortable to lean against, strong and tall and perfect. Airy wondered if being tall and sexy was a vampire thing.

"Mmm?" She pulled back enough to meet his gaze. "Oh, yeah. As long as no one tries to convince me I'm addicted. Then I can get addicted to something without even trying it though from the way I think it works, that'd be harder than just not getting addicted. It sucks when I get sick though, because I feel miserable twice as long."

She was getting off topic. "Why do you ask? Were you worried about me?" Airy did coke with Cassidy from time to time but she'd never had a problem with it. Unless Matt was thinking about something else. Airy didn't really know everything about the wide world of drugs.

The more she talked, the broader his smile got.

"Well yes, after a fashion. And now, no but also only kind of. It's..." He struggled with just coming out and saying it but it was Airy and he wanted to share this part of himself, a very integral part of himself, with her.

"I have a.. a weakness. And while you can't help me with that particular weakness, I would love to get you high and see what comes out of that beautiful head of yours. Opium, heroin.. The hard, fun stuff. The stuff that normally destroys normal humans."

Like it or not, he had a responsibility and granted, he picked and chose when to respect and tend to that responsiblity, but the guilt of not tending to it weight just as much as the reward elated him.

Airy had gotten used to the easy drugs with Cassidy but it had made her curious. If she couldn't get addicted, then why not try something harder? There was no reason not too and the curiosity relentlessly gnawed at her until she gave in with an enthusiastic smile.

"Yes. I'd like that. To try them, either of them." She reached for his hand and pressed a light kiss against the back of his fingers. "If you're looking out for me, I'll try anything."

She trusted him to keep her safe while she was completely blitzed.

"Do you want to go back to your room?"

Ah, she had him in a bad way. Matt held her tighter against him, almost purring in approval as she kissed his hand, ego bolstered by her sweet approval. She was a gem, indeed and his eyes roamed over her face with a new hunger.

"Yes, I think for both our sake's some privacy is going to be needed. It's a shame I can't feed from you, but I would love to introduce you to things. Blow your mind in other ways." With that, Matt started pulling her backwards, turning them around to start heading towards his room.

"I won't let a hair on that beautiful head of yours be harmed in anyway."

It was probably an unusual desire but Airy was a little sad that Matt couldn't feed from her. Not because she was particularly eager to have a vampire drink from her. The thought was a little scary but with Matt... nothing was all that scary and she wanted to see, feel and experience every side of him.

She turned, letting her hand stay against his back and partly wrapped around his waist as they headed towards his room.

"I know Matt. And I'm excited to have my mind blow." Her gaze left him only long enough to see where she was stepping before looking back at Matt. He must have known what kind of effect he had on her. "Hey Matt, do you think. Do you think it'd be possible for the fairies to make me, not poisonous to you?"

It's a thought and one that fills her head through most of their short walk to his room.

"Good," he replied, face splitting into a grin. Her trust made him feel warm in the most dangerous kind of ways and Matthew had to remind himself more often with her what lines he wasn't allowed to cross.

Something that was made immediately harder by her surprisingly good idea.

"Is that something you would really want?" It was the last thing he'd expected, as it was her only real defense against him if he ever flipped his lid. "I'm sure they can - they're handing out powers like candy it seems, to any who ask.."

One hand left her to find the door-handle, pushing it down to let them into his room.

Airy lifted her shoulders in a shrug though her expression was thoughtful and sincere. "Yeah. Kind of. I mean, I have defenses for someone to bite me and I don't want it but if its you..." Her voice trailed off. "I'd be okay with that." She knew that Cassidy's bite could be fatal and she'd never put him in that situation but she also knew that Matt's bite was erotic while Cassidy's was not.

"I just don't know if they can. They've given me a new power, a month or so ago, but I've been thinking about this. I don't know if they can change someone to their core. It'd be like turning you human again. If you were looking for an equivalence." It was weird to think about but the more Airy spoke, the more she realized that it was what she wanted. "Or even if I just ask them to make me not poisonous to you... I don't know."

Maybe it was a silly idea....

Airy slipped into Matt's room and took a seat near one of his pillows so she could gather it into her lap and rest her chin on it. Her hair fanned around her while she continued to thoughtfully study the floor. She knew that they were here for relaxing drug purposes but since she had no idea what she was doing she opted for staying out of the way until matt was ready for her.

Closing the door behind them, Matthew tilted his head at her, lips canted softly as he shrugged off his suspenders and dropped into the small pillow pile she'd found herself on. One arm laid over the 'back' of the pillows, to let his fingers brush against her arm.

"I would love to be able to show you the true depth of pleasure, but I worry about others. If you were going to do this, I say do it, but only for me and my kind. Your defenses are there for a reason and I would hate to see them broken and you get into a spot of trouble later for it.

I don't want you hurt either, you know."

He didn't address the idea of him being human again; the suggestion left him torn and conflicted and he wasn't sure she wanted to see the depths of that. There were better depths to find.

"Yeah. I'd just be for you're bite or your race." She thought about Cassidy again but pushed the thought from her mind. It was a complicated question and it'd take more than an afternoon to figure out what she wanted to do so she'd think about it later. Right now, she wanted to direct her focus to Matt.

"We'll see. I won't let you hurt me Matt."

Airy smiled up at him, her long hair falling in graceful waves over her shoulder. "I'm getting stronger. Plus, friends don't let friends hurt friends." She glanced around his room and found it comfortable and pleasant.

"So. Will you walk me through what we're doing? Maybe I can surprise people by knowing what I'm talking about later." She knew how to roll a joint but that was the peak of Airy's drug knowledge.

He nodded, pleased with the amendment. Cassidy came to mind, of course, and Matthew knew that the lean man would never purposefully hurt Airy, but he couldn't forget the sight of He Ming laid out, bleeding under a tree.

Smiling at her collective sentiments, he sat up, leaning on arm across his knee.

"That depends. What would you like to try first? I have opium, one of the oldest drugs.. Hash, which will be more like.. hyper intense marijuana high. Heroin, but I don't think that's right for your first time."

"Heroin." Airy's tone didn't make it sound like a question.

She's wanted to try it for awhile and she knew that Cassidy would be more of a spaz than Matt when it came to trying something that was naturally addictive. Airy couldn't get addicted to it and it was perfectly fine and she wanted to try it.

"Just tell me what to do." If he was really against it, Airy would back down to Opium but she wanted to see how much Matt was going to let her get away with.

Matt arched his eyebrows in a look of gentle surprise at her firm request, but nodded and pushed himself to his feet to head over to his desk drawer. "You'll stay here then for a good bit, or we can walk around." The point was, she was staying in his sights and arms reach.

"As for what to do. I don't wear belts and they lack rubber here, so.." Dramatically, he pulled a dark red ribbon from the drawer, along with a slim, rectangular box.

"Fetch us a candle, would you?"

"Okay. I figured I'd stay here until the effects wore off. Assuming you don't mind." Her light blue eyes glittered with warmth as she looked up at Matthew. He was sexy, sweet and a surprisingly good friend. He got down on himself a times, Airy knew it, but the only thing she thought she could do to help Matt was to offer her company.

"A ribbon?" She asked as she pushed herself to her feet to grab a candle. It wasn't lit but Airy waved her hand over it and used her powers to ignite it.

"Here. What are you doing exactly?"

Airy knew nothing about Heroin except what she picked up from watching the musical Rent.

"Of course not." He almost sounded semi offended by it, but it didn't go any further then his tone as his lips curled back to their casual, charming curl.

"Well, heroin is not smoked or ingested, rather injected. We will heat the powder to a liquid, pull it into a syringe, and put it in your arm. Like giving blood, but in reverse."

Box in hand, ribbon draped over and through his fingers, he gestured her back over to the pillows.

"A little more work, but significantly better an experience."

Airy had done her part and now she sat back on the pillows and watched Matt put everything together. The ribbon was beautiful and she found it interesting that such a pure lovely thing would be used for this.

"Does it feel hot?"

She wondered if it'd burn her arm at all or maybe she's over thinking it.

"I trust you but I'm curious." Airy leaned forward, resting her chin on a pillow as her legs curled behind her and she watched Matthew work. It was oddly hypnotizing.

He shook his head softly, smiling crookedly at her.

"No. It will cool quickly enough, and keep its liquid form. For a time, some people thought things like that, science, was true magic. I'm glad humans have evolved from that tendency, for the most part."

The box was set down, ribbon draped over his knee as he popped the box and withdrew goods she was likely familiar with.

"Ask all you like." A spoon, a small packet of powder, a new cottonball and a metal syringe.

"That's good to know." Airy giggled. "Yeah? I like that too, though there is still magic in my world and there is no textbook about it." She wished that there was a textbook under 'C' named 'the Creator' that she could use to look things up.

"Okay, so you melt it on the spoon, put it in the syringe and then.... what's the cotton ball for?"

Was there rubbing alcohol somewhere and the cotton ball was supposed to help with that?

"There are plenty of textbooks about it in my world, though I doubt how much it would help you." There was a lot of Magic in his world but Creators were a new idea to him. Perhaps not to everyone, he couldn't say.

"It's what helps allow us to draw it into the syringe. It also catches anything that doesn't liquidize." The process was simple enough, and displayed with a skilled hand, doing just as he'd described. The little mound of powder he dusted in liquefied, coloring around the edges and he used the needle to stir it a bit. As soon as he was satisfied with the quality, the cotton-ball was dropped in and the spoon pulled away from the flame so he could load the syringe. Once all that was done, he set it all down and lifted the ribbon.

"Your arm, madam."

Airy shifted and held out her right arm for Matthew to take. It was a good thing that she wasn't afraid of needles or this would be a lot more difficult.

"What is the ribbon for?" She hadn't realized that the ribbon was for her or she would have been toying with it while Matthew prepared the liquid drug. "It's really pretty."

Maybe it was nerves but she focused on something that Matthew had said when they first met, when the scar around her neck had still been visible.

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I'm sorry this is so long in coming, you don't have to respond if you don't want to keep it goin

I am happy to keep going if you are!! Matt is so cute.

YAY~

XD

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